


"Maybe"

by AnonymousV



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Sarcasm, Tsunderes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2017-12-09
Packaged: 2019-01-30 01:18:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12643206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousV/pseuds/AnonymousV
Summary: Your best friend insists on having you attend an EXO fansign event.For you, it was nothing special. You were just another fan who happened to be D.O's childhood friend.But for them, and mostly, for Lay, you were everything he ever dreamed of. Lay believed in love at first sight, and he was most certain this was it... sadly all the choices he makes only push you to believe that he has no interest in you. Why does he keep on making the wrong decisions? Why can't you be open about your strong, but hidden feelings?You struggle to see the light, as for you, kpop stars cannot even be bother to be considered anything near your potential boyfriend. They were nothing but a daydream, a mere hope that seemed impossible. You can't tell if you truly love him for him, or for his fame and good looks. Even so, Lay is persistent...Through heartbreak, fighthing, and a lot of sarcasm, you somewhat manage to fall for him... and what does Kai have to do with all this?





	1. Long time no see, did you miss me?

**Author's Note:**

> Female characters in fanfics are always made out to be weak, and I firmly believe that is far from the truth.  
> I made the female protagonist to be cold and unmoved by all the attempts to flirt with her. A girl, fearless and smart, yet who cannot notice her own beauty. Most define this type as "rude" or "brutally honest", but they do have a sweet side... 
> 
> Passionate for basketball (like me!!) and music (much unlike me...), she wants to achieve her dreams without men involved.
> 
> But, in the end, who can resist EXO?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your best friend insists on having you attend an EXO fansign event.  
> Of course, you being a secret fan of EXO, you end up having to go.  
> Once there, you meet one of your childhood friends, Kyungsoo. You missed him, and you are extremely pleased to see your long-lost best friend. So how come this man that you've never met, never seen before, can make your heart race faster and explode of joy, when he should be nothing but a daydream? You were never supposed to meet. And most definitely, you were never supposed to fall in love with Zhang Yixing.

"Please, please, pleaaaase!"  
I sighed, a smirk on my lips. Soo Mi was always trying to get me to go to that stupid fansign event, and it positively never worked. I knew I wasn't being honest with myself, because I secretly loved EXO almost as much as my enthusiastic friend, but I refused to admit it, or she would bother me everyday about how "handsome Baekhyun is" or how "evil D.O. could be".  
Knowing that it was soon Soo Mi's birthday, I turned to face her pleading puppy eyes. 

"Let's go to your room, okay?"  
We are fortunate enough to have a house of our own, that we share, including two humble rooms, a modernized kitchen, a furnished living room and two polished, clean bathrooms.  
She pouts, thinking that I was changing the subject to avoid discussing the event, but she follows me nonetheless into her room, to the left of mine.  
On her bed sits a small envelope, golden letters decorating the sliver lining. "Happy birthday", it says.

She eyes me cautiously. "It's... not my birthday... it's in a few days," she says, sad that I hadn't remembered the exact day of this important annual celebration.  
"I know, but... the EXO fansign event is a day before your birthday, isn't it? And I doubt you would want to miss that," I reply, winking with a cocky smile on my lips.  
A gasp escaped her bubblegum pink lips, and she tore open the letter.  
"Hey, hey," I say, scolding her, "that letter was expensive as hell!" She grins at me, ignoring my comment, before pulling out two admissions to the event. "H-how?" stuttered Soo Mi, her expression dumbfound, with her mouth wide open. Priceless.  
"Well, I just happen to know a certain someone who gave me these... perhaps you'll recognize him?" 

D.O. and I used to be the best of friends. We always stuck together like glue, pursuing our passion for music as one. Sadly, my parents did not approve of me becoming a star, much unlike Kyungsoo. He left me to audition for SM, therefore becoming a trainee, as I stayed in my hometown and pretty much never saw him again. It was painful for us to separate, and I kept from it a bad experience. This resulted in my hatred for men... to me, they always end up betraying us and leaving us in the dust.  
One of my old friends from school recently texted me and gave me Kyungsoo's contacts. She said that D.O. was desperate to reach me. Despite my anger towards him, I regret his departure and I missed him greatly. He offered me the tickets to the fansign event and pleaded me to come. Obviously, I teased him a little and told him that my answer was "maybe"... hopefully, he'll be stunned to see me. And I sincerely couldn't wait to see him again!  
It didn't matter that he was a star, a celebrity or a famous musician. He was Kyungsoo, the same shy friend I spent my childhood with. I had always loved his voice; it soothed me in my worst moments. And finally! I would seem him again.

Soo Mi didn't dwell on my mystery benefactor long, as she was too overjoyed. "WE'RE MEETING EXO!!"  
"We? Who's WE?" I said, pretending to be clueless. "I have no intention of going," I say, my eyes innocent yet playful.  
"You're coming," she says. "Hmm..." I give her the impression that I'm hesitating, but in my head I am determined to go.  
"Well," I say, stretching the word out as much as possible, "I suppose that it IS your birthday, and I should try to please you..."

Soo Mi jumps into my arms, and I giggle. And just like that, it's settled.  
We're meeting EXO in 2 days!

...

Today's the day. I eye my reflection in the mirror. Obviously, I am not the type of girl to put on makeup. I find it repulsive and somewhat useless. I hate covering up my true, natural self, to try to "desperately seduce men". It's a waste of time, money and effort, and I had no intention of getting a man's attention.  
But today, I wanted to impress D.O. After all, don't celebrities wear a crap ton of makeup applied by professionals, and dress in expensive clothes recommended by all the finest stylists? I hated the feeling of being inferior, and so, I added a tint of makeup (which I am, somehow, very good at using) in a way to make my face slightly more white, my skin, a bit more smooth, and my eyes a bit more... popping.  
I slipped on a casual, off-shoulder white t-shirt that exposed my left shoulder. Then I slipped on a black leather jacket that matched my leather boots and my favorite ripped jeans. I grinned at myself in the mirror, adjusting my hair tied into its usual ponytail. (I only let my hair down at home; you never know when you might get challenged to a basketball match!) I hesitated if I should take my glasses; nah, I only wore them for work and they did make me look a tad more nerdy.  
I was satisfied with my entire look. My makeup was delicate and gorgeous yet not too visible, and my clothes were rebellious and hot, yet not too desperate.

Right on time, Soo Mi knocked excitedly at my door.  
"Areyoureadyet? Areyouready areyouready areyouready???"  
I opened the door, and she eyed me from bottom to top. I did the same. She wore a tight fitting dress with soft, flower patterns, and a pair of brown leather sandals. Her makeup was light and cute, and I approved of it with a nod."  
She nudged me in the shoulder, and made a "ooo" sound. "Trying to look good, eh? I wonder for who...?", she said, smirking like the devil himself. I stuck my tongue out at her, and huffed. "Every girl wants to look good," I muttered.  
"I'm kidding," chuckled Soo Mi, hooking my arm with hers. "Now, let's gooo!"

...

I sat down, my gaze stoic and calm. In front of me sat Suho, the leader.  
His smile was warm and gentle, like a father's appreciation and love. I politely shook his hand. It was big and warm, like my mother's embrace. He smiled genuinely and we conversed in idle chatter as he signed his autograph. It passed by so quickly, and he made it very comfortable. As I moved on to the next, he waved and smiled his perfect smile, before turning to the next fan.

I then met with Xiumin.  
As soon as I sat down, he puffed out his cheeks eagerly, and made a cute face. I remained unperturbed, occasionally quirking an eyebrow in amusement. He spoke like a happy infant, his eyes sparkling. It felt like looking at diamonds in the sun. He asked me for my name, and then my favorite animal. I replied simply with "My name is _____ and I like wolves." He grinned enthusiastically and begun singing "Wolf" quietly, just loud enough for me to hear. He reminded me a lot of Soo Mi when she was in her I'm-EXO's-biggest-fan mode. It was hard to believe that Xiumin was the eldest; he reminded me of my younger brother. (I have 1 younger brother and 3 older ones. I know; how unlucky!)  
Even his autograph was adorable: he drew little hearts all around it. I was pleased, but too nervous to meet D.O. to concentrate.  
As if he could feel how tense I was, he leaned over and placed his chin on his hands, tilting his head slightly sideways. "Yah," he said gently, catching my wandering eyes. "Give me some attention, hmm?" He then pouted and I felt my heart melt. I didn't react, and nobody could tell that my stress had faded away as I gave away nothing but a quick nod.

I then came face to face with Chen.  
He looked directly into my eyes as he spoke. I instinctively closed my eyes in return. He cocked his head and threw me a confused look. "Why are you closing your eyes? Look at oppa, please." I snorted at the cheesy line, but he didn't notice. Peering through my lashes, I mumbled, "I never liked eye contact... why do you have to stare..." Chen chuckled, laughing softly. "My whole life, I never met someone who didn't blush or enjoy the eye contact. That's new," he said. Blush? Hell no. Enjoy? Never. All I could manage was a "huh" and a small "that's odd". Then, he tried unsuccessfully to put me at ease by looking at everything but me. "I didn't say completely ignore me," I say teasingly. Jongdae shyly lifts his eyes, meeting my stern gaze. He looks uneasy, unsure what to do. It's... so different from what celebrities look like on TV. I smile, and he hesitantly smiles in return. I grin, and peer at his red face. Suddenly, an idea pops into my head. I know how to cut the tension: by doing what Chen loves the most.  
"Chen," I say, my voice barely audible. He looks up, and finishes off his autograph. "Hmm?" "Could you sing for me?" Chen nods eagerly. This was his element! And as he sings, his melodious voice envelops me... and soon my time with him is over. As I switched seats, I noticed that he seemed happy and relieved with the way it ended.

Next, was D.O.  
As his eyes finally landed on me, his jaw dropped. D.O, who was usually timid and reserved, stood up and cause a big scene right then and there. He got up and pulled me into a hug (from over the table). I think he was crying tears of joy. "Idiot," I say playfully, "don't be so emotional." D.O. seems to realize how everyone was blankly staring at us, most fans having their phones out and filming with their hands over their mouths in awe. D.O. motioned to Suho, and whispered something into his ear. Suho's eyes widened. "So you're the famous _____ D.O. talks about so much," he says, taking my hand in his. He then faces the crowd. "Do not worry, this is just one of D.O's closest, childhood friends. He is simply very happy to see her. Thank you," he says in a matter-of-fact tone. The fans cheer, (don't they always cheer for every stupid little thing EXO says...?) and D.O. seats himself back down. His eyes are crinkling from joy, and he says in a hushed voice, "I missed you."  
I stare at him, his perfect features, and his signature heart-shaped smile that I loved so much.  
"Kyungsoo," I say, seriously, grabbing hold of his hand and squeezing it. I stare right into his eyes, and he does the same. "If you ever leave again... I'll kill you." D.O. starts laughing and smiles gently. "Yeah... I'm sorry about that, _____. Never again." 

We talk about the old times, the adventures we've gone through, and how much we missed each other. From time to time, he would silently add a little comment like "You've grown up to be very pretty" or "I'm really sorry". We talked for a long time, exchanged contacts and promised each other to meet up again before I was ushered into the next seat because we had conversed for too long.

It was tall Chanyeol who spoke to me next.  
He was all smiles, grinning like a three year old. When he shook my hand, I could easily tell just how much bigger it was than mine. He had a deep voice that contrasted his smile and his kindergarten personality. His hair was messed up and I resisted the urge to touch it. Or at least, I tried to resist.  
"Chanyeol," I said, without bothering to add "oppa", "can I touch your hair?" He was signing my autograph and he looked up, surprised. "Oh, uh, never mind," I say, looking at his shocked features.  
He shakes it off and looks at me happily. "No, it's not that, you simply surprised me a little. Very straightforward," he says, almost like a compliment.  
"So..." I say, questioning in my tone.  
"Yes, you can," he says, grinning even more as he bends down slightly to make his hair more accessible.  
"It's so fluffy..." I say, letting my guard down for half a second as I pat the dyed gray hair.  
He chuckled, a deep, joyful sound, and his laugh didn't end until I met up with another member.

It was Kai, his lip quirked into a smirk, and already, I knew by the way he was looking at me, that there was going to be a lot of flirty responses and even more of eye-rolls. Kai took my hand as soon as I sat down and pressed a kiss against I. I was downright disgusted, but all I could manage was an awkward, confused look to not seem rude. Hoping none of the fans saw his disgraceful gesture, I quickly gave him something to sign. What's his problem? I wasn't anyone special, and yet this famous musician was flirting with me? Perhaps I was mistaken, and Kai is naturally a flirt, and he does this act to please every passing female fan. But deep down, I know that my instinct was never wrong. I could tell by the way he eyed me, the way he kept on trying to touch my hand or my hair, by the way his gaze constantly lingered on my face or my lips, how he insisted on asking me a crap ton of questions, that he wasn't being just "friendly". Well, if he expected me to fawn over him and faint every time our hands touched, he was sorely wrong. Instead, I pointedly ignored all of his attempts and smiled a big, arrogant, fake smile. But the more I seemed to push him away, the more he seemed interested. Attached. But the look he bore gave me goosebumps. I HATE men like him. Who simply desire women for lust, and who consider them nothing but toys, dolls to manipulate. So as I switched spots with an over-eager fan, moving away from Kai, I gave him a challenging, smug smirk. A look that meant, "Come at me. I'll give you what you deserve." And that seemed to both satisfy him and shut him up. I finally pivoted towards the next member. Lay. He had yellow contact lenses which made his eyes shine like gold. He smiled at me. And all my thoughts vanished. My mouth went dry. My breath hitched. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move. What was this? Sorcery? And all he had done was smile at me. My heart skipped a beat. Actually, I'm pretty sure it stopped beating. But then, it fell back into its usual pace. My words came back to me, and I could breathe again. I stuck out my hand, and he shook it. And that's all I remember.


	2. If I can't forget you, I'll erase you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You spend your time with D.O and Kai, and you find yourself enjoying their company. Even with your long-lost best friend back, you can't stop thinking about Zhang Yixing and his perfect smile.  
> You try forcefully to forget him, and when you think you managed it, Lay comes crashing into your life, flipping everything upside down. You won't let your feelings get the better of you! Or will you?

After Lay, I quickly met the rest of the members. 

Sehun had been rather timid and silent, but he acknowledged me like every other fan, being polite and calm. At the very end, when I was about to switch seats, he cracked a beautiful smile. It was one that I needed to see. Involuntarily, I had smiled back and he seemed pleased with my reaction. As I turned away, I thought I heard him chuckle softly.  
Our meeting was both short and common, but I feel like we connected.

Baekhyun had a evil smile, as if he was a devil faking innocence; he must not be very good at it, since his inner demon was clearly revealed. He talked as if he was the smartest, coolest person in the world, but I could easily tell that his confidence was an act as well. During his speech of "why I should be EXO's leader", I had stopped him and interrupted.  
"Baekhyun," I had begun. He cocked an eyebrow and leaned back in his seat.  
"I really think you should drop the act. Why pretend to be so self-assured when that's most evidently not the case?"  
His pale cheeks reddened at once, and he snorted casually. "That is undeniably not the case."  
I raised an eyebrow. "Of course," I say. I flutter my eyelashes and blink several times and make a sappy face. Pretending to be cute, I say, "Of course, oppa! I believe you! This is my believing-you face!" Then I return to my sarcastic look and sneer at him.  
Surprisingly, he begins to laugh. And it grows louder and louder until it becomes unbearable and I have to cover his mouth before his fans begin to question us.  
"I've never seen a girl like you before," he says.  
And just like that, our rivalry ended and we spoke comfortably, teasing one another before it was time for me to leave.

Even though I missed the times where EXO was a whole, I had to accept the fact that Luhan, Tao and Kris weren't here anymore. As I dragged an overly excited Soo Mi back to the home we shared, my thoughts were all over the place.  
The flew around aimlessly in my head, until we reached our house and I collapsed onto the couch, exhausted and tired from driving, and effortlessly fell asleep.

When I woke up, Soo Mi was cooking supper for the two of us. Sometimes, I felt like we were a husband and a wife. As I approached her, I muttered, "If only you were my wife... men are so useless." She threw me and amused look but didn't say a word. As we settled down to eat, she turned towards me and began rambling. "This has been the best birthday of my life. Thank you." That was all I heard as she then launched into fangirl mode and nobody could stop her. Except EXO, I guess.  
I remember her saying that "Sehun was quiet, Chanyeol was funny, Baekhyun was an ass, Kai was hot, Suho was dedicated, Xiumin was a hamster, D.O. was bashful but sweet, Chen was passionate for music." She hadn't mentioned anything about Lay, and I didn't ask her why. Maybe my stubborn self had only heard what I wanted to, and my head had refused to register any information concerning Yixing. I don't know, and it didn't matter.

...

I woke up and heard a soft beep coming from my phone.  
Momentarily shielding my eyes from the luminosity, I examined the notification.  
It turned out to be a text from D.O. "So early in the morning," I moaned, but clicked on it nonetheless.

-Hey, are you awake?  
-Well, now I am  
-Oh sorry to bother you, but this is one of the only times I am available, and I wanted to meet up with you.  
-At 5 in the mornin'...  
-Yeah?  
-Fine. Where do u wanna meet  
-I'll come pick you up. Where do you live?  
-U sound like a stalker. are u truly Kyungsoo?  
-Pff. Ask me anything.  
-Ok, "Kyungsoo"! what was my nickname 4 u when we used to hang out? u know, after u DITCHED ME  
-I said I was sorry, didn't I? And it was "Bunny". I didn't like it, by the way.  
-I know u didn't like it. why else would i choose it?  
-Because I loved bunnies?  
-True. and because u look like one  
-No.  
-yep.  
-No.  
-__________.  
-__________?  
-that's my address, dumbo.  
-Oh. Be there in 20.  
-sure thing, chauffeur. see ya soon

 

...

I dressed elegantly but casually and ate a small snack. I was certain D.O. had plans so I didn't want to fill up my stomach before our outing. With a nice outfit on and a small amount of blush and foundation, I stepped out the door and patiently waited for Kyungsoo, the sun slowly making his way into the pale orange sky.  
He arrived in his (expensive) car and I sped towards it, making sure he didn't honk. That would wake Soo Mi up, and she has anger issues in the morning. I wrote her a small note informing her about my whereabouts and left it next to her nightstand, for precaution.  
Kyungsoo stepped out of the black car with tinted windows the same color for security and privacy. He waved and I smiled at him, genuinely.  
"Hey," he said.  
"Hey," I said back.  
Then we both settled into an uneasy silence, unsure whether to speak or wait for the other to say something.  
Why was it awkward between us? We were best friends and that should never change. 

I grabbed him into a hug, and he returned it happily. When I pulled back, I looked into his eyes and said firmly, "Stop being so awkward."  
He laughed, a sound that I remembered well, and we entered the car. I noticed that there was another passenger though.

Kyungsoo looked at me somewhat anxiously.  
"You don't mind that Kai will be coming with us, do you? He insisted. He said that you left him a good impression at the fansign event, and he would like to get to know you better and hopefully become friends. Kai and I are good friends, you'll like him as well."  
"Of course not!" I reply, vigorously shaking Kai's hand as he slyly winked at me. "I don't mind at all," I say, trying to keep the strain out of my voice.  
"Oh, thank God," said D.O, sounding deeply relieved. "I wouldn't want you any more furious at me then you were already."  
"I'm not mad at you," I say spitefully.  
"Not at all, eh?" countered D.O playfully. "Well, today I'll make it up to you, even though you're nooottt angry," he said.

Kai smiled, enjoying our chitchat, as if he was a fly on the wall listening to our conversation.  
"It's nice, Kyungsoo," he finally chimed, speaking up happily yet gently.  
"What's nice?" we both ask at the same time.  
Kai laughs a manly chuckle, and points at me.  
"Her," he says. "You two must really be close friends. I've never seen D.O. open up to anyone as much as he does to you. He speaks his mind and makes jokes without hesitation. That's nice. You should always be like this, Kyungsoo."

Kyungsoo smiles, and I hear him faintly whisper, "I'll try."

...

D.O. and I were very comfortable around each other, and I quickly got attached to this not-flirty side of Kai. He was sweet, and funny. Kyungsoo was still the shy little "bunny" I liked so much, especially when he ordered smoothies for us. But when it was just the three of us, he was more confident, and, just like Kai said, he spoke openly. His favorite topics of discussion where either how much he missed me or how much I changed, but he spoke often and fondly of the other EXO members. Every time he spoke about Lay, I focused on something else. My heart just wouldn't let my thoughts dwell on him. Him and his gorgeous smile. Him and his adorable dimples. Him and-  
No. This was wrong. 

From that day on, I begun frequently hanging out with D.O. When it was just the two of us, there was no tension, and I felt like I was living my childhood all over again. I remember telling him that he was more handsome now, and he often blushed when I gave him unexpected compliments or called him "Bunny". I found it adorable.  
D.O. liked to invite Kai to come with us, and I did appreciate him. He wasn't who I had pictured him out to be. Perhaps he was flirty and charismatic to attract his female fans, but he was a good person on the inside. I was glad to have him and Kyungsoo.  
Slowly, but at my pace, I began to lose interest in Lay. If my heart would not forget, I would erase him. The name "Zhang Yixing" was nothing relevant. To me, he was just another dull man, a normal EXO member at best. He wasn't close to me like Kyungsoo, Jongin or Soo Mi was.  
Sometimes I met D.O's closest friends in the band, and I got the chance to hang out with the other members. I never saw Lay though, because he was "very busy recently" from what the other members told me, or Suho, who, as the band's leader, had many responsibilities.

I can't say I didn't regret not meeting them, but I believed that the more I saw Lay, the more I would suffer. It would be killing myself.

It was a normal day where D.O and Kai were rather busy and occupied with work when it came to my mind that I hadn't been seeing Soo Mi very often. I had spent my time with the boys, and as much as I loved having fun with them, sometimes I needed a little girl talk. She was, after all, the only one who truly supported me and my beliefs when Kyungsoo had left for SM. She was my closest friend, and I missed her. I decided to text her while she was out.

-Hey i haven't seen u in a while  
-Yeah, sorry about that.  
-No i'm sorry i always ditch with D.O i'm just so happy to see him but u are 4ever my bff~  
-Let's hang out soon, okay?  
-Promise?  
-Promise. :)

We eagerly met at a small cafe that had recently opened. I was amazed to see how cute and lively it was. The decor and ambiance assured a good time, and the place smelled like hot coffee, sweet deserts and hot pastries. Soo Mi and I sat down with our identical orders, and we chatted snugly. It was such a nice place, it seemed to warm our hearts too. Soo Mi explained how she had been "active" lately, running all around town and having the fun she newly craved. I talked about Kyungsoo, and Kai, and she acted a tad jealous that I could spend my time with "the hot Kai". It's true; I never thought I could do as so much as "speak" to any of these celebrities, and here I was, meeting up with them every few days. Of course, we had to go to small, closed-off areas or dimly populated to not raise suspicion, but I didn't mind, so long as I was with them.

Just as we were about to leave, Soo Mi stopped me, biting her lip cautiously.  
"A certain question has been running around in my head and I'm just aching to ask me it. You don't mind, do you?"  
"I'll gladly reply," I answered curtly, feigning to look uninterested. I was dying of curiosity; what could possibly make her feel so perturbed?  
"Do you..." she paused, and then shook her head and continued, "Do you have a boyfriend? Or, actually... do you... are you... in love with someone?"

I mentally gasped. All the thoughts I had suppressed earlier came rushing back to me. Lay, Lay, Lay, they chanted. "You like him, don't you?" asked a voice in my head. Another snobby one countered, "No. He's famous, and he doesn't like you! What gives you the right to date him? Just because you're friends with Kyungsoo? He has the choice in between all the girls of the world; you're pathetic." My heart raced, and a drop of sweat gleamed on my forehead. Had Soo Mi noticed? By the way I spoke? I rarely spoke about him, but I never had anything negative to say... Maybe it was my lust-filled eyes, shining with hope when someone mentioned his name.  
But, even with all the answers I could come up with, the one thing that I replied was a sharp, blunt and brusque "NO."

She nodded, oblivious to my interior thoughts. "Well, I have news. I met a special someone..."  
My jaw dropped. I gaped at her, proud and yet jealous. "No way!!!"  
Intrigued, I pressed her, "Who is it?! Who???"  
She answered calmly, "It's somebody you don't know, but I hope you two will become friends and support our relationship."  
"I don't know him?" I asked, more as a statement then a question. "When will I get to meet him?!"  
"Soon, hopefully," my best friend said, a dreamy expression in her eyes.  
"What is he like??"  
"He's sweet, like sugar topped with honey and sprinkles..." Normally I would be disgusted by this type of sloppy lovey-dovey manner of speech, but I was too excited for Soo Mi that I couldn't blame her for feeling lovesick like she was.  
"Is he... you know..." I asked, gesturing wildly to explain my question.  
"Hot? Definitely. Smokin'," she replied, a wink and a teasing grin on her lips. "But beware," she said, waving a finger in the air, "He's mine!"  
"Not that you ever had any interest in men," she added. I had no interest in men, true, but then there was... him. No, no, no, no. Forget him, erase him.  
"What's his name??"  
"Oh, it's perfect. It's like music to my ears. My boyfriend's name is nice, but I do have some adorable nicknames in store... but it fits him so well," she said, the look back in her eyes.  
"Don't waste my time woman. What's the name already?! And where's the guy?!"  
"His name is Zhang Yixing, and he's in EXO! Can you believe that?!" 

I responded with excitement and joy, but I'm glad Soo Mi barely paid attention to me, because if she had looked closely, she might've noticed that my heart had just broke into a million pieces.

My breath hitched, my voice caught in my throat. My eyes almost turned watery. I didn't hear a word as Soo Mi babbled on, chatting happily. What was this feeling in my chest? Jealousy? No, it was more like resignation. Acceptance. I couldn't erase Lay, now that he was a part of my life. I couldn't forget him, because I would be seeing him quite often. But I could fall out of love with him. I could love him as a brother. I could love him as a friend. I could love him as... my best friend's boyfriend.

Yes. As long as Soo Mi was happy, and as long as he still had that perfect smile, I would leave my feelings behind.


	3. Cold and bittersweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You often find yourself tagging alongside Soo Mi and Lay.  
> Almost unconsciously, the longer you stay beside them, the more Soo Mi seems to be drifting away from you. She only seems to talk about her newfound boyfriend. No matter the cost, you want to keep this friendship strong - because you care about Soo Mi - but you can't help but act cold to Yixing.  
> Poor Yixing doesn't know what he did to provoke you, but it seems that blaming your lovesick feelings on him is so much easier than breaking your best friend's heart.

Having a sleepover includes eating lots of pizza and candy, staying up late, blasting music, and discussing inner problems.  
Soo Mi and I often had this type of sleepover when times were getting hard for one of us or both. 

We would sit on my bed and talk for hours, sometimes laugh, sometimes cry.  
Today, Soo Mi was laughing, and I felt like crying.

Soo Mi was a good friend, above all, but sometimes it was difficult for her to care about anyone else but herself when she was excited over something important or meaningful to her. It was rather selfish, but I wanted some attention too.  
She talked on and on about Lay, rambling and repeating, and all I could do was fake my joy. I knew I could accept this "loss" - deep down, I already had, - but if she kept on putting salt in the wound I swear I would get mad.   
She didn't notice my strained smile or faked enthusiasm, absorbed in her little bubble of happiness. If only I could reach forward and pop her bubble.  
But I couldn't. Best friends don't do that to one another.

Should I admit to her my feelings for Yixing? The one that I had only met once?  
A true best friend would accept that, but it would hurt nonetheless. It would hurt both of us.  
Of course, I didn't have to admit feelings if they weren't there, so all I had to do was destroy them. Forget them. Forget him!

Soo Mi insisted on me meeting Lay, and I couldn't refuse.  
She flipped through my almost empty agenda and I couldn't make any excuses to avoid this meeting.  
But it would be awkward.

I dressed up, for the first time, being careful about my makeup, but I didn't go as far as too overdress or wear fancy clothes. Instead, I took a simple hoodie and jeans, enough to be stylish, casual and comfortable at the same time.  
We were supposed to meet at a cafe nearby, and Soo Mi had gone to a salon to get her hair done, so I found myself standing in the mirror alone, looking at my reflection.

I looked awfully bitter.   
Like I had swallowed the whole world's pain and worry.  
I pinched my cheek angrily and put on my best "I'm-happy-for-you" face.  
It wasn't perfect, but only a close friend would be able to notice my depression and Soo Mi was too overjoyed to care.  
I shook away all my negative thoughts and head off to the cafe, where I arrived first.

...

Soo Mi arrived soon, hair and makeup done, as if we were going on a date (where I would be the third wheel), but she said that she had to look good for Lay.   
I didn't reply, instead waving at the seat beside me and getting her to settle down.  
She sat quietly, and I could almost feel the anxiety radiating off her.   
We waited in a tense silence.

...

30 minutes had gone by in a flash, and Lay wasn't here yet.   
Just as Soo Mi got up, a frustrated look on her face, Yixing came bursting through the cafe doors, looking perfect, probably after a photo shoot.  
He spotted us and quickly waved, sweat gleaming on his forehead.  
Soo Mi's frown turned upside down in half a second and she got up, pushing past me to hug Lay, yet careful to not attract any attention to the celebrity.  
As she hugged him, his eyes darted to me. They widened, then he regained his composure.

Oblivious to Soo Mi, as soon as she released him, he stepped forward and shook my hand. I gripped his hand vigorously, surprising myself at the force and energy I put into a single handshake. It seemed to convey my anger to him, and he immediately bowed and sat down.  
Soo Mi quirked an eyebrow at me but sat down, forgetting the weird first greeting.

"Sorry I'm late," he said finally, catching his breath and dabbing at his sweat with a napkin.  
"It's okay!" replied Soo Mi excitedly, although his statement seemed to be directed to me.  
I gave a curt nod, and he seemed relieved.   
"It's fine," continued Soo Mi, settling beside Lay and hooking arms with him. He looked annoyed at the gesture but smiled at Soo Mi, who ignorantly babbled on.  
"You're probably super busy with your job and all that! It must be hard to be a celebrity," she exclaimed, fluttering her eyelashes like a child.  
Lay seemed uncomfortable, and his eyes seek mine as if pleading me to help. I grin, enjoying the situation, but finally decide to speak up.  
"Let's order, alright?", I ask, and Soo Mi nods.  
"Yes! Lay, you must be starving~ and you're probably exhausted! What do you want to eat, honey?"  
Lay tensed at the word "honey", and I snickered. He glared at me, then turned back to my best friend who was acting like a overeager three-year-old, and said politely, "I'll have the same as you."  
Soo Mi nodded and ordered for them, and I placed my own order.

We began conversing as our food came.  
Soo Mi only had eyes for Lay, but he never looked at her. Was it just me, and my desperate hopes, or was he always looking at me? His gaze never left my face, and all his questions were directed to me. How did Soo Mi not notice this?  
He even asked for my number, sugarcoating his intentions. "Oh, what if my little Soo Mi here gets hurt? I'll be sooo worried! You're close to her, right? I'll contact you in case she isn't replying," he had said, and his "partner" had approved, but I threw him a bitter smile and said, "I do not believe that will be necessary," my voice cold and hard.   
He rubbed his neck, and laughed apologetically, "Ohhh, alright then. I'm counting on you to keep her safe~"  
I snorted. "Of course! I care about Soo Mi," I replied, eyeing her warily. She turned towards me, and her lips parted, but not before I continued. "But right now, she's so concentrated on her lovely BOYFRIEND (I emphasized the word which made Lay squirm in his seat) to care about me," I spat.  
Soo Mi looked hurt, but once I knocked her out of her stupor she seemed to realize how little I had talked during our sleepover or at the table.  
"Oh," she said, the spark in her eyes dimming. "I'm sorry," she said.  
"It's cool," I say softly, my anger dissipating. 

Lay turned to face me, and smiled, placing his chin on his hand and leaning forward.   
"I find it nice that you care so much about your friend~" I turn to Soo Mi, who isn't being childish anymore, and finally she can tell that Lay had only been interested in me since our meeting. She hides her disappointment, but answers for me.  
"That's because we're very close," she says.  
"Really?" asks Lay, ignoring her. "But do you have a boyfriend too?" he asks, a subtle way to extract this information from me.  
Soo Mi frowns, disgust in her face, but Lay is intent on getting an answer from me.   
I look at my best friend, and for her sake, I speak up, determined.

But someone interrupts and answers for me.  
"Yes," says a masculine voice. "Yes she does."  
We all pivot to see Kai, resting his hands on the table. He then slithers next to me, wraps an arm around my shoulders, and smiles at us.  
"Isn't that right?"

Lay's jaw drops, and I smiled victoriously. Of course, I am utterly repulsed by flirty Jongin, but he did just save the day, so I nod and place a kiss on his cheek. I can tell he was surprised by my bold act, and he licks his lips in delight. Soo Mi stares at me, and makes a "We're-going-to-talk-long-and-hard-about-this,-you-just-wait" face, but then she invites Kai to sit and our conversation resumes.

All along, I purposefully flirt with Kai, who responds just as eagerly. I know I want Yixing to get jealous, but perhaps sending the wrong signals to Kai would turn out to be a bad thing. Soo Mi in a daze, stunned by all the drama that had happened, and Lay just looks angry.  
Every time I rest my head on Kai's shoulder, or play with his hair, I can see his muscles tightening and his teeth grinding.

"I didn't know you two were a couple," says Lay, poison in his voice.  
"To be honest, dear Lay, I didn't know either," I think. But I don't say it out loud. Instead, I reply, "Well, it was love at first sight."  
Lay's eyes narrow, and I can tell he recalls the EXO fanmeet event. "I used to believe in that too, but-" he stops to look at Soo Mi, who looks awfully worried, "I don't think that exists." With a final glare, he gets up and leaves, not before adding, "And don't call me anymore," to Soo Mi. Those were the first words he had addressed to her since the beginning of this gathering, and the last as well.

**Author's Note:**

> You managed to finish Chapter 1!
> 
> Sorry this was so short... I promise we'll get to see more of Lay soon!!


End file.
